SANAA YA LEO PENSELI NA KAMERA

JUDGE Vs CHILD (Kichekesho)

Judge to child: Do you want to live with your mother?

Child: No

Judge: Why?

Child: She beats me.

Judge: Okay, so you want to live with dad?

Child: No

Judge: Why not?

Child: He beats me too.

Judge: So who do you want to live with?

Child: TAIFA STARS.

Judge: WHY??

Child: They never beat anyone!

JINSI AMBAVYO NYOKA ANAANDALIWA TAYARI KWA KULIWA

Dried gallbladder of snakes are used like immunomodulator, the medicine reinforcing immune system; encapsulated snake oil is a natural product containing collagen - good for CVD prevention; powder made of snake genitals is a secret of men's sexual drive.

There is one more thing - you may try to drink fresh snake blood and eat its still warm heart. It's believed that drinking blood of a creature with perfect immune system makes your own immune system much stronger - that's the reason why people drink blood of crocodiles and snakes. Heart is eaten to obtain the power of the animal that was killed.

First of all Siamese cobra must be chosen.

 

It is let our from the cage and it crawls right at your feet, it seems the cobra needs just a second to get to you and make a deadly bite, but it's known that snakes don't attack first.

 

Kwanza nyoka hukamatwa na kuminywa shingoni.

 

Then its body is cleaned.

 

Shallow notch and the snake's heart is taken out

 

Blood is drained into a glass

 

When the heart is extracted it still beats for some time...

 

Blood is diluted with whiskey and tossed off.

The heart is cut for two persons. It's eaten and washed down with alcohol

The cooked meat of the cobra looks like this.

Snake liver tastes like beef liver, there is no much meat but it tastes rather well.

TUZO ZA MWANANDINGA BORA WA DUNIA BARCELONA YATOA 8

Wayne Rooney ni mchezaji pekee wa Uingereza aliyeingia katika mchujo wa wachezaji watakaowania tuzo ya Fifa ya mwanakandanda bora wa mwaka ijulikanayo Ballon d'Or.

Barcelona imeingiza wachezaji wanane katika orodha ya mchujo huo, akiwemo Lionel Messi, ambaye ndiye mshindi wa tuzo hiyo kwa mizimu miwili iliyopita.

Nani (Man Utd), Luis Suarez (Liverpool) na Sergio Aguero (Man City) ni wachezaji wengine wanaocheza soka England waliomo katika mchujo huo.

Meneja wa Arsenal, Arsene Wenger anaungana na Sir Alex Ferguson na meneja wa Chelsea Andre Villas-Boas katika orodha ya mameneja wanaowania tuzo kwa eneo lao la mameneja. Uamuzi utatolewa tarehe 9 mwezi wa Januari.

Rooney msimu wa ligi wa 2011 aliisaidia sana klabu yake ya Manchester United kuweka rekodi ya kunyakua taji la ligi la soka la England kwa mara ya 19 na kufika fainali ya Ligi ya Ubingwa wa Ulaya.

Mabingwa wa kandanda wa Ulaya klabu ya Barcelona imetawala orodha hiyo ya Fifa kwa kuingiza wachezaji wanane, ambapo Cesc Fabregas, aliyekuwemo kwa muda fulani katika kikosi cha Arsenal mwaka 2011, yumo katika orodha hiyo pamoja na Messi.

Real Madrid imeingiza wachezaji watano, akiwemo mshambuliaji wa zamani wa Manchester United Cristiano Ronaldo na kiungo wa zamani wa Liverpool Xabi Alonso.

Orodha hiyo itachujwa tarehe 5 mwezi wa Desemba na kubakisha majina ya matatu kwa kila nyanja.

Wachezaji walioteuliwa kuwania tuzo ya Fifa na nchi zao katika mabano:



 Eric Abidal (Ufaransa),



Sergio Aguero (Argentina),



Karim Benzema (Ufaransa),


Iker Casillas (Hispania),


Cristiano Ronaldo (Ureno),

 
Dani Alves (Brazil),


Samuel Eto'o (Cameroon),


Cesc Fabregas (Hispania),


Diego Forlan (Uruguay),


Andres Iniesta (Hispania),


Lionel Messi (Argentina),

Thomas Muller (Ujerumani),


Nani (Ureno),


Neymar (Brazil),


Mesut Ozil (Ujerumani),


Gerard Pique (Hispania),


Wayne Rooney (England),


Bastian Schweinsteiger (Ujerumani),


Wesley Sneijder (Uholanzi),


Luis Suarez (Uruguay),


David Villa (Hispania),


Xabi Alonso (Hispania),


Xavi (Hispania).

Mameneja walioteuliwa kuwania tuzo hiyo na nchi pamoja na vilabu vyao:
Vicente Del Bosque (Hispania na timu ya taifa ya Hispania), Sir Alex Ferguson (Scotland/Manchester United), Rudi Garcia (Ufaransa/Lille), Pep Guardiola (Hispania/Barcelona), Jurgen Klopp (Ujerumani/Borussia Dortmund), Joachim Loew (Ujerumani na timu ya taifa ya Ujerumani), Jose Mourinho (Ureno/Real Madrid), Oscar Tabarez (Uruguay/Na timu ya taifa ya Ujerumani), Andre Villas-Boas (Ureno/Porto, Chelsea), Arsene Wenger (Ufaransa/Arsenal).

Barcelona yaua 4 Arsenal Yalazimishwa suluhu na Marseille

Licha ya kucheza nyumbani, timu ya Arsenal wameshindwa kuifunga timu ya Olympic Marseille ya Ufaransa ilikujihakikishia tiketi katika hatua ya 16 bora ya ligi ya mabingwa.
Hatua ya Mkufunzi Arsene Wenger kumuacha njee ya kikosi chake nahodha Robin van Persie kulionekana kuwapunguzia miamba ya Arsenal motisha.

Washambulizi wa Arsenal hawakuonekana kwamba ni tishio katika ngome ya wageni wao Marseille katika mechi hiyo.

Badala yake ni Olympic Marseille ndio waliokuwa mwiba katika ngome ya Arsenal huku Jordan na Andre Ayew wakikosa nafasi kadhaa za kuiadhibu Arsenal nyumbani kwao Emirates.

Licha ya sare hiyo Arsenal bado inaongoza kundi F wakiwa na alama nane . Olympic Marseille ni ya pili na alama saba.

Barcelona 4 - 0 Viktoria Plzen

Kwengineko mabingwa watetezi Barcelona ya Uhispania waliwatwanga Viktoria Plzen ya Jamhuri ya Ucheki kwa magoli 4-0.

Mchezaji bora duniani Lionel Messi aliwaonyesha kivumbi wenyeji wao kwa kufunga mabao matatu. Cesc Farbregas aliipatia Barca bao la tatu katika dakika ya 72.

Hii ni mara ya 14 kwa Lionel Messi kufunga mabao matatu katika mechi moja tangu aanze kuichezee Barcelona .

Kwa ushindi huo Barcelona inakuwa timu ya kwanza kujikatia tiketi ya kuingia katika hatua ya 16 bora ambayo ni mechi za muondoano.

Rangi nyeupe ni mchanganyiko wa rangi zote saba

Kwa wale ambao mmesahau kidogo Geography napenda kuwakumbusha kuwa Unapokuwa na rangi zote saba ukazichanganya ndipo unapopata rangi nyeupe, kuanzia sasa kaa ukielewa kuwa karatasi nyeupe ni muunganiko wa rangi zote saba katika mboni za macho yako.

Hotuba ya Obama muda mfupi baada ya kuukwaa u-presidaa(Nigga Version).....Obama The Nigga

Obama the Nigga...

Niggaz, bitches and all mother fuckers, this is the real shit right here! They said no black ass nigga is gonna do this presidential shit. They said we dont have the juice, or the kind of shit needed to run this government shit. They beat our asses down, broke the spirit of true mother fuckers but today, I stand here and say, we run this f**king show! This is the shit we can believe in!

I know some of u niggaz think this shit was easy. Men, I have to tell you it freaking wasnt. I had to beat Clinton 's ass, and beat one silly old bastard called McCain. Telling lies on me, spoiling my reputation. Thats no way to treat a nigga! But him. He aint gonna mess with no niggaz like me no more. We ran his ass down all over this country!

To the outgoing head nigga, Bush, no love lost bro! You are one dumb-ass mother fucker, but you are stll cool bro!

To these freaking terrorists, ... Osama ... am'a hunt your ass down, spray it with ketchup and beat it with a freaking hot rod you son of a gun! You dont land here and think you can smoke us to death. We gonna smoke yah out! Am sending the specialized G-Unit to deal with ur crooked ass. Fifty and ur crew, teach that sucker how to treat a nigga!

To my father, dudes, that nigga was the illest in the land. At a time when they couldnt serve a nigga coffee in America , this nigga was busy getting some from a white lady! Guy got game I tell bros. He had her lickin and singing to his tune in no time. He did it like a true nigga and thus America , here I stand. The fruit of a true black ass nigga!

To other Presidents all around the world, if u are corrupt, am gonna smoke ur ass! If you dont want to end conflict, am gonna smoke your ass! If you steal from your country, am gonna smoke your ass. If u make fun of me, your ass is coming down! If you are Robert Mugabe, am gonna smoke your ass nigga! Change your name so I dont find u. Am gonna give you shit to believe in, NIGGA!

And I understand the financial shit the country is in is the size of your momma's ass! But let me iron it out for you. Am gonna get into that freaking financial building with an AK-47 until those white ass experts solve the crisis else am gonna smoke their asses too! What do they mean they cant solve it. They are white! They supposed to be all genius and all. They understand this shit better than a nigga! So they have two options. Solve it or SOLVE IT! Dumb-ass whites!

To wind up, lets remember those who were part of the struggle. Martin Luther King, Tupac Shakur, Biggie and Michael Jackson. That last nigga aint dead but his a** truly aint gonna last long!

Yow Nigga! Its time I gonna get ma black ass back in the white house!!
God bless America !